Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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