hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
