yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
