Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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