I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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