you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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