She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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