having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
