no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
