Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
