she woke up with a sticky ear
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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