I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
this boner is exhausting
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
