Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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