Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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