Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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