her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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