Say something about gay babies.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
