His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize