My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
