i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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