Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
