you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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