I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
