took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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