I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
