someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
