Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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