you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Randomize
