My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
