it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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