I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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