Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
