I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize