Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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