how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
