I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Randomize
