3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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