fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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