At least make sure they are 18
Why
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
