remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize