would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
