Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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