I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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