bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize