just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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