no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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