You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
