At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize