I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
