this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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