So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
