Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
