sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
