i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
