If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
