You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
