i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
